An online dating email….. just for the fun of it….

I found this, which I wrote a few years ago now and saved; an email to a lovely woman on a now defunct dating site who described herself as ‘Prosilient’. I loved that, and had to look it up.

She also said she would relish the chance to take up even more interests with a suitable man, as long as they were legal and not painful.

Much impressed and excited, I was inspired to write to her, thus….

(She replied, as I remember, and thanked me for making her laugh…. a good sport)

Hi there,

I just had to drop you a line by way of compliment, even though I’m afraid you are too far away for me to be approaching you for a date…..

I was much impressed and more than a little excited by your profile. Anyone who calls themselves ‘Prosilient’ has my full attention and not in the least because I had to go look it up, but also because it must surely be the mark of a posh and intelligent bird.

I like my chicks intelligent and so far have always managed to overcome the posh bit without any problem, apart from them seeming to have an apparent predilection to breaking me in with the painful application of a deftly and enthusiastically applied riding crop.

Or is that just the Horsey ones? I forget now…..

No matter….

My Cornish accent, which makes me sound as it I’ve been dragged up by way of upbringing and mostly in a heavily manured field at that, I feel serves twofold…..

Not only by way of being  a refreshing contrast to that of the Posh Bird’s, but also to give hope to other lesser beings watching us pass in disbelief, that all things are possible and that they too may hold the hand, and perchance more besides, of a Posh Bird.

Anyway, ‘prosilient’ evidently means ‘outstanding; conspicuous; jumping forth’, all of which I would consider to be fine attributes in any woman I’d want to be in harness with. I am particularly attracted to the ‘jumping forth’ bit. I could do with a bit of that around here these days I can tell you, especially since I seem to be going through a bit of a long and frustratingly drawn-out dry spell lately.

I note you don’t feel you’d be able to indulge in anything illegal. This, if true, is a good reason from your perspective that you are so far away. I would only shamefully lead you into joining me in frequently entering the realms of shocking behaviour on my motorcycles, one of which frequently leads me unto splendidly illegal deeds. I have to say though, that hitherto these adventures have proved to be something of an infallible aphrodisiac to any woman who has ever slipped one of my large adrenalin machines between her lovely slim legs. You may or may not feel some relief at having been excused the temptation of being led unto such an abandonment of (perhaps) a lifelong element of self-control and tasteful restraint.

Slinging the whole plot down the road on it’s side at some considerable velocity, usually due an excess of enthusiasm, would undoubtedly be painful too, thereby exceeding another of your parameters. By way of recompense, I would be willing to endure your admonishment with a riding crop of your own choosing, if that would help at all.

Anyway…. Before I start rambling on, and onto God only knows what other erroneous paths, (possibly those of a dubious nature for a Prosilient woman of breeding), I’ll quit and wish you well in your search for a man of a similarly prosilient character.

I hope this pitiful missive has cheered your day, should it need cheering. I’m doubtful as I rather think an aura of good cheer follows you around like a faithful and dedicated doggie.

Good luck, and may prosilience ever be your byword. (According to the Gospel of Google, there is no such word, …..but I don’t care. I like it!)

 ‘Prosilient’…. (I bleddy LOVE that word). Gonna write it down and use it at every opportunity.

 You have yourself a good and prosilient day, y’hear.

 With prosilient affection and good wishes,

Kevin.x {:o)

 P.S.

Otherwise known, more Heroically, as Sir Clint Thrust McUdy……

Henceforth to be addressed as….. Sir Clint Thrust McUdy, The Prosilient One